One of my favorite Xanga peoples has been trialing and tribulating over doctors so I thought as my contribution to the cause I would tell you the story of my dermatologist. I know, I know, I’m always telling you about my plethora of doctors and vast array of bizarre new health issues, but I haven’t been talking about him. (I may have told you about him once, a while ago. But tough, here it is again.)
My dermatologist just came into my life about six months ago. For a wart. Not just any wart, but the most horrible, evil, poltergeist wrapped in a skin virus, here for the rest of your life wart there ever was. This wart is on my hand and I’ve had it for about 20 years. about 10 years ago I had it frozen. Not like Walt Disneys head, but rather with liquid fire that hurts like.., well… like you would think liquid fire hurts like. And it went away. For a few months. Just long enough for a huge scar to form and then the wart grew back under the scar. GROSS!
So about six months ago I said enough is enough, time for it to go. My GP recommended a couple of dermatologists and I picked this one. Oh my but didn’t I pick well! I didn’t know it at the time but he is semi-retired and only works on Wednesdays. He is my doctor because it just happens to have been the day I got. The first time I saw him I was hooked. He loves people. His entire staff is always laughing.
He’s also apparently a sadist. I see him once a month (today included) and every time he tries something he giggles maniacally and says This is going to HURT! LOL LOL LOL! And yet, I still adore him. I only wish he practiced other specialties. I would go to him for everything! Our current mode of treatment is I go in, he grabs a sharp scalpel and cuts at me for awhile. Laughing the whole time and telling me how much it probably hurts. Then he bathes it with Blister Beetle Venom. Then he laughs and again tells me how much it’s going to hurt later, and then he almost always thinks of some funny or sweet story about one of his patients from the past to tell me.
He makes up for all of the specialists I’ve had to deal with in the last two years who maybe weren’t so great. If I thought my wart would ever actually go away I would be sad that I would not see him again.
Off to yoga on my blistered and bandaged hand. (Did I mention Yoga is also ALWAYS on Wednesdays? Of course it is)
it occurs to me that maybe when it gets really gross I should take a picture! You know…for educational purposes.