One of my favorite Xanga peoples has been trialing and tribulating over doctors so I thought as my contribution to the cause I would tell you the story of my dermatologist.  I know, I know, I’m always telling you about my plethora of doctors and vast array of bizarre new health issues, but I haven’t been talking about him.  (I may have told you about him once, a while ago. But tough, here it is again.)

My dermatologist just came into my life about six months ago.  For a wart.  Not just any wart, but the most horrible, evil, poltergeist wrapped in a skin virus, here for the rest of your life wart there ever was.  This wart is on my hand and I’ve had it for about 20 years.  about 10 years ago I had it frozen.  Not like Walt Disneys head, but rather with liquid fire that hurts like.., well… like you would think liquid fire hurts like.  And it went away.  For a few months.  Just long enough for a huge scar to form and then the wart grew back under the scar.  GROSS!

So about six months ago I said enough is enough, time for it to go.  My GP recommended a couple of dermatologists and I picked this one.  Oh my but didn’t I pick well!  I didn’t know it at the time but he is semi-retired and only works on Wednesdays. He is my doctor because it just happens to have been the day I got.  The first time I saw him I was hooked.  He loves people.  His entire staff is always laughing.

He’s also apparently a sadist.  I see him once a month (today included) and every time he tries something he giggles maniacally and says This is going to HURT! LOL LOL LOL! And yet, I still adore him.  I only wish he practiced other specialties.  I would go to him for everything!  Our current mode of treatment is I go in, he grabs a sharp scalpel and cuts at me for awhile.  Laughing the whole time and telling me how much it probably hurts.  Then he bathes it with Blister Beetle Venom. Then he laughs and again tells me how much it’s going to hurt later, and then he almost always thinks of some funny or sweet story about one of his patients from the past to tell me.

He makes up for all of the specialists I’ve had to deal with in the last two years who maybe weren’t so great.  If I thought my wart would ever actually go away I would be sad that I would not see him again.

Off to yoga on my blistered and bandaged hand.  (Did I mention Yoga is also ALWAYS on Wednesdays?  Of course it is)

it occurs to me that maybe when it gets really gross I should take a picture!  You know…for educational purposes.


Comments on: "Perhaps I’m growing a third hand?" (0)

  1.  So he’s cutting it out little by little? That’s gotta be fun. Nice that he has a sense of humor. Better that you do!  My dentist is  a lot like that, makes it a little more bearable.I have a strange thing going on, speaking of warts (and your interest in such gross things.) I thought I had a plantars wart on my foot so I tried the over the counter stuff. Didn’t really do anything, except kill some skin. So I went to the doc who looked at it and pronounced it a callous! So I was trying to freeze off a callous??! That was like a year ago.  So I’ve just been trying to keep the callous down a bit. Until recently when I got serious about getting rid of the damn callous. So now it’s almost gone and guess what. It is a plantars wart! I can feel the whole shape of it now. And with the callous gone, it hurts. So Ima have to make an appointment for it. But I gotta tell you I am really scared of that liquid fire!

  2. @strawberryfieldsgirl – My son had a problem with those.  He did have some of them removed by the doctor and was given medicine to put on them.  The doctor did tell that sometimes putting duct tape on them everyday will kill it.

  3. Um I think you and the derm are a little bit crazy!  Check out the link I left in an earlier comment to strawberryfieldsgirl.Oh god — please no pictures!!!  You know that foot picture appeared on the side of my Facebook for awhile?  I am going to go to my insurer’s provider list and go eeny, meeny, mo.  I think that would work.

  4. Tracy, You’re so aweseome.  What a great sense of humor (and the Dr too!)

  5. Yowie!!  I hope it gets better … fun Doctor or no!  

  6. And you said MY blog might induce nightmares!  This guy sounds… totally crazy.  I think I’d probably like him, too.  Part of my dream, I think, came from recent snot, too.  (Should I or should I not go into it?)  Okay, I will.  Have you ever been stuffed up but in a really dry way so that when you blow your nose and get a good bit of snot you have to pull the rest of it out slowly and methodically so it doesn’t stay stuck in your sinus cavity or snap like a rubber band back into your nose?  Yeah, I think I was thinking about that when I went to bed after washing my hair and then it got even weirder.  Why can’t I dream great plot-worthy thoughts?

  7. @BoureeMusique – It should be noted that I was eating my fruit cups while reading and I got to “recent snot” and immediately minimized the window until I was done! Maybe it is plot worthy.  Nice childrens book.

  8. @tracy – You are very patient with me.

  9. Ya…I want to see a picture…I lived thru the toe blister….and can you imagine him as your gyno 🙂  AND  wouldn’t you always want to know that he is probably telling another patient a sweet story about your va jj

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