Archive for December, 2010

‘spectives. Intro, Retro, Per.

I’ve been thinking lately about Happiness. Today I started thinking about retrospectives. I was thinking about retrospectives because I love the end of the year ones on TV. Showing you all the top news stories, or bloopers. I try very hard to never be retrospective in my own life. I think it leads to regrets and if I am going to start reliving the regrets of my live, well, I would be a sad Tracy. The two topics go together today, in this space.

 I believe I have one spectacular personality trait that the majority of people don’t have. I believe I have the ability to find the smallest happiness in my life and hang onto it like Rose hanging onto Jacks hand. I will take that little piece and hold so tight that I can let it be my everything. The water may be cold, and everything is dying around me but all I focus on is that one thing, until it’s frozen and dead. Then I find something else, that I can find joy in, so that I can survive.

 So this is my own version of a retrospective. I will spend a few minutes trying to remember all of the things that pulled me out of a figurative well this year allowed me to let their joy seep into my life.

 My husband. He is just as odd as I am, and frankly I think maybe more odd in many ways. But, he always gives more to me than he receives.

 Books – when my real life feels so dark I can pick up a book that either uplifts me, or takes me to a place that is much darker and in comparison.

 Taking Control of my own body – You knew it would be here, right? The sense of power I have gained from losing this much weight, and gaining this much health is something that I wish I could let other people feel. It is amazingly healing. No matter what else is going on I can pop on my earbuds, hop on my bike and sweat. For every little bit of effort I put into it I know that I am in control. Not you, not my bosses, not my family, ME. I will ever be able to articulate how that feels.

 WiFi devices – don’t underestimate the power of being connected. When I have a moment of despair and I want to crawl under a pillow I can grab any one of the many devices I own that allow me to connect to the rest of the world. Something as simple as Scrabble on my iPod with my step-son and one my wonderful Xanga friends allows me to feel not alone.

 Art – I find myself getting lost in other peoples creativity. I have somehow without even trying connected with people who do amazing art. Some of it in paint, some of it in words. I can spend just a few minutes looking at their creations and I feel different. I wish had the ability the replicate that feeling. It’s like a little joy bubble in my diaphragm that is warm and makes me feel safe and in touch. I can look at that spot whenever I need to and renew that feeling. I am in awe that people can say or create things that make me feel this way.


Obviously there are about 104 other things I could list. Including my daughter, and my sister. I can’t begin to tell you how important those two people are to me. How lucky am I that in my life I have two women that are stuck with me through genetics but are also friends now.   


Why you should not get used to talking in your head..

There is a local organization called Humane Ohio.  Their main goal is to spay/neuter cats who wonder the streets.  They are a nice organization I think.  I do not give them money because I believe my money is better spent helping people.  So instead I do the smallest thing I can do to help them, I go to a Barber Shop once a month or so and empty the donation cannister.  Then I write a check for that amount, (now that I type this I realize I do give them money because I always round up to the nearest 10.00) and send it to them.  They Barber shop is right by my house so it’s really a nothing gesture.

The owner of the barbershop is a nice woman who has a little mini dauschund named Dog, and yesterday I found out she also runs her own cat rescue out of the back of the barbershop.  We’ve slowly been getting acquainted, both the dog and the owner, whose name it Toni.  Yesterday Dog attacked me, it was the cutest thing!  One pet on his belly and the ferocity was gone.  I think Toni spends a lot of time talking to the animals.   I will relay the conversation that we actually had.

 Tracy – My son is in the car, I should get going.

Toni –  Wait a minute.

Toni –  I don’t want to cut your hair!

Toni – Here you go.  (hands Tracy paper)

Tracy – Thanks!  See you later. (runs out scared)


I will now relay to you the conversation that I believe she had in her head.


Tracy – My son is in the car, I should get going.

Toni – Your son is there! Say, I do mens haircuts and you seem like a nice person.  Wait a minute, and I’ll write up this card for you for a free haircut!

Toni – Oh, of course I mean a haircut for your son.  Not for you.   I don’t want to cut your hair!  Your hair is very long and it looks thick, and I specialize in mens cuts! 

Toni – Here you go.  (hands Tracy paper)

Tracy – Thanks!  See you later.


Next time, I will wear my hair up in a bun so as not to cause a panic.  I will also take a milk-bone because Dog is really adorable! 



WorkShop in February

I want to take this class, does anyone want to take it with me?

Miniature Gardens

Bigger doesn’t mean better! You can develop beautiful landscapes
without all that heavy lifting – by creating miniature gardens or
“fairy gardens” in your home or outdoors.

Our landscaping expert will walk you through the basics of suitable plants, ornaments and
structures for your small-scale landscape. Even better, you’ll take a
miniature garden home with you.

Instructor: Diane Giddens.
Sat 2/5 10 a.m. – 12 p.m. $44 Arrowhead 5102

Breakfast time!

Look what my sister found for me.

Throw a little egg beaters in it, 60 seconds in the microwave and..



And so tonight we Blog!

I am feeling a little out of sorts.  I don’t think it’s the holiday, it’s some other stuff going on.  Makes my neck tense.

I lost another pound.  I think we’ve slowed to 1 pound every 60 days. I have eight and half pounds until I reach my last goal.  I set that goal last year and I thought it was the best I could hope for.  I am now rethinking this.  For Christmas I think I will go buy myself some new workout pants.  Mine were big when I bought them, now they are so long!

Having typed that paragraph I will now say that I  have been having a cookie splurge!  One of office-mates brought me a nice little container of treats that his wife had made. So good!  Small enough that I can eat them all if I want, but big enough that it will certainly put me over my daily caloric goal.  And there is fudge.

I think I am going to send a secret into PostSecret.  If I do, and it goes up, I’ll tell you.

I was working out the other day and Daisy points at my chest and says, “Boy, you sure are losing it up there!”
My other Daisy’ism of the week occurred yesterday when she said “I think all this working out is making your hips get bigger!”  The owner of the gym was standing there and audibly gasped.  It made me laugh.  Daisy is a trip.

I can not find Silver ribbon except in those stupid four color packs!  I only want Silver.  I will find Silver or there will be no presents for anyone this year!

Happy night before Christmas Eve to you all.

We go along harmonizing a song, or I’m reciting a poem..

Woke up at 5:00 am, and then couldn’t get back to sleep.  Same old Same old.  Except I finally fell back asleep about 6:30 and I dreamed that the US had been attacked.  My military boss said it was “Richochet” Then he died from a heart attack and I had to take care of myself.

I stumbled out into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee after oversleeping and missing my Saturday yoga and my husband said “Did the Ninja’s wake you up?”  and I thought I must still be in the dream.  I wasn’t, he’s just odd. 

Grabbed a granola bar for breakfast and dropped half of it on the floor. 
I like the reduced sugar Quaker granola bars.  Nothing to nasty in them, and I think they taste better than the full sugar ones.  Go figure.

Had to tell my husband what I ordered him for Christmas to stop him from buying it yesterday, which is only fair because he told me what he was trying to buy me for Christmas when he saw me ordering one online the other day.  I wasn’t ordering it for me, but it was good that he said something because I don’t particularly want one. 🙂  Can’t give details here, all hush hush you know.

Does anyone eat yogurt?  I am having the worst time finding yogurt that does not contain Gelatin or High Fructose Corn syrup that is less than 140 calories a serving and tastes good!   I want to have variety but all of the fun sounding flavors are filled with stuff I wont’ eat.   Annoying.

I have one more Christmas present to go out and get, and two more to try and think of something to go out and get. Boo.

Finished book 2 in a series yesterday, Started book 2 in a different series today.  Oh, Erin if you see this, yes they both have more than 2 books.

Off I go!

Joyful, Joyful…

Friday…was there ever a more melancholy word……Last official day of vacation.
Watching a movie on LMN while postponing getting out of bed.

My husband just wandered in and laid down in the bed, so now all of the dogs have wandered in too.  Now we’re all watching the movie on LMN.

I dreamed a long complicated dream which I won’t bore you with, but part of it was that I was carrying a Chinchilla for a long portion of it trying to keep it safe. So odd.

No, really…I have to get up…..I’m going to go make a cup of coffee and grab my iPod and get my bike riding out of the way.  Wait I will make a side trip to my other computer and log into my bank and schedule a payment,  a LAST payment, to go out tonight. 

Henry Winkler is on my TV talking about retirement planning.

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