Archive for March, 2011


Difficult to blog on an iPod.

That is all.

Why I hate Disney

I hate those damn Disney commercials where the family surprises the kids with a trip to Disney something.

Every time I see them I immediately feel like the worst parent ever because I never had a moment like that with my kids. I am totally envious of those reactions. I still want to do it. I want to get a billion dollars and plan a fantastic trip to some wonderful place that includes my entire family and anybody they want to bring. Not Disney. Maybe a Caribbean Island.

If I won millions of dollars I would plan a beautiful dinner for my family at some wonderful place. I wouldn’t tell them why.  I would reserve a private room and have everything exquisite.  Wait!  Strike that!

I would invite them all for dinner at our current favorite Italian restaurant Sebastiano’s. I would not tell them that the others were coming. I would have a beautiful big table ready and surprise them all with each others company. Yeah, that’s it.

I want everything for my family. I want them to never have to worry about horrible things. I don’t mind a little struggle, it’s good for the soul. It shows you that you can overcome, but I wish I could make sure that they were never in a really dire situation. I don’t ever want people I love to know real fear and desperation.


I should just start calling this a food blog..

My husband found a recipe for a healthier version of peanut butter cookies.  Then he put his own twists on it and made it even healthier.  What came out of this healthy experiment was not pretty.  They are strange looking little piles of weird texture with almost no flavor.  He was going to throw them out but I said I would take them to work and eat them for breakfast this week.  I don’t really need a lot of flavor in my breakfast, because I don’t think my taste buds wake up until noonish.  So into a giant ziploc they went.

I was in the conference room on a call and one of my co-workers discovered the giant bag of cookies in the kitchen.  This was the instant messenger conversation that followed.


Brad:     there appears to be a bag of cookies and brownies in the kitchen

Brad:     I would like to inquire as to it’s intent

Tracy:    those are the bad cookies.

Tracy:    Feel free to try them, but they’re not good.

Tracy:    They are however healthy!

Brad:     they don’t look not good…

Brad:     healthy? they look like chocolate chip…

Tracy:    try it.

Tracy:    You’ll see.

Tracy:    I am eating them for breakfast this week.

Brad:     this feels like a trap, but they look delicious

Tracy:    They’re not inedible, they’re just not good.

Brad:     :C

Brad:     you have ruined cookies forever

Tracy:    It’s not like I didn’t warn you!


and then she said blah, blah, blah blah.

I really should get out of bed. I am very comfortable though. I think the time between 6:00 am and 8:00 am are the golden hours of sleep. I am rarely asleep during that time but always want to be.

I have blogged entirely too much this week.

Watching Biography about Christian Slater.

I was just reading another blog and she is talking about last names and an obituary and I decided I should right my own obituary. I wonder if it is too creepy.

Todays agenda;

  1. 30 minutes on bike
  2. Shower
  3. Laundry
  4. Soup for lunch!
  5. Freeze extra soup to see how it does before deciding whether to make a bigger batch
  6. Krogers for a few odds and ends (don’t forget coffee for the trip)
  7. Clean enough of my house to make room to sew
  8. File my toenail
  9. Dinner!
  10. Need to do a little work somewhere in there and also have a lot of reading to do.

Yesterday I went shorts shopping. I bought two pairs of cropped pants instead because I couldn’t find shorts that I like. My husband is almost obsessed with me wearing khaki cropped pants. It must be some weird fantasy in his head. Luckily, I like them as well. I think next time we are in a clothing store I will ask him to help me pick out a shirt to go with them and see what he gravitates towards. He obviously has some image in his head.  I am right on a size for right now. It’s so nice to grab a bunch of stuff all in the same size and have everything fit. 

Off to work on items 1 and 3.


Soup Makin’ Saturday

Making this soup.  I found the recipe on Xanga the other day and decided to try it.  It doesn’t sound good at all, but it has all of my favorite flavors so I decided to try it anyway.

I added the calorie count.  I am a little obsessive about that.


 1 cup small dice celery – 17 Calories
 2 cups small dice yellow or white onion – 100 Calories (only used 1)
 olive oil – 120 Calories
 1 x 28 ounce can of crushed tomatoes – 93 Calories
 1 or 2 bay leaves
 2 teaspoons oregano
 pinch of cinnamon
 cayenne pepper, ground black pepper and salt to taste
 1 x 12 ounce can of light or regular coconut milk – 240 Calories

Serves 6
Finely chop onion and celery. Add a tablespoon or two of olive oil to a large stock pot and saute celery and onion until tender, about 7 to 10 minutes. Stir in oregano, cinnamon and whole bay leaf.  Add can tomatoes. Turn up the heat and simmer for 5 minutes. Stir in can of coconut milk. Remove bay leaf. Blend with a hand held wand blender in the same pot or carefully transfer to a jar blender and blend until smooth. As hot liquids expand in a jar blender, fill the jar blender half way only. Blend in batches if necessary. Return to original pot if using a jar blender, otherwise keep warm on low heat until ready to serve. Season with cayenne pepper, salt and ground pepper to taste.

A little side trip today

She patiently waits.  Dinner is almost done.  She knows the drill. She knows where the line is. Dinner done, kitchen clean he sits down to watch the news. It’s almost time. They’ll watch a game show together. It’s the tradition. They’ll both shout out the answers, they’ll be correct alot of the time. Her probably a little more than him. Maybe a funny sitcom, something witty and clever. Nothing low brow, thank you very much. 

Finally it happens, he stands up and with a stretch announces that he’s got to be up early, guesses he’ll go read a book for awhile. She’ll stay down here and read, maybe play on the computer. It’s their ritual dance.They both know what comes next. She waits a few minutes after he goes upstairs. There is no hurry, it’s not like she has to. It doesn’t hurt anyone.  She grabs the bottle. A nice civilized glass of wine while she reads her book. A picture straight from a novel.  Curled up in the chair with her book on her lap, and a warm glow from the table lamp shining on her glass. She has the perfect life.  As she reads that tendril of desperation starts to creep up the back of her spine. The words in the book can’t hold her attention. The loneliness makes her fingertips cold.

biting my tongue

I am going to try and word this ever so carefully.  Please know that I don’t mean to offend or in any way demean your beliefs, even if you’re wrong.


So the other day I was hopping around on Xanga and I saw a blog about Yoga.   Not one of my normal subs, but you know I love my yoga so I clicked to see what she had to say.  The blogger was talking about how happy she was that she had finally tried Yoga.  So far, so good.  Then she said she waited so many years because of her religious teachings. She had to wait until she was disgrunted with her religion and no longer following it’s tenents. In her church she has always been taught that Yoga was a gateway for allowing demonic spirits into you. If this wasn’t startling enough, I read her comments and people were agreeing with this teaching. They were happy that she had survived her first month of yoga without demonic possession.

 Today I Googled.

 I really and truly do not understand how a person believes something like this. I think I am very open minded, and I think I am also very empathic, but I cannot fathom this.

Watch out for hairy palms!


Hey there cup cake…how about I buy you a steak?

Have to blog early today!  Yoga tonight.

Do you ever buy these?

Tasty and convenient?  They were on sale so I picked up a couple of boxes for a special treat.  My husband pointed out an interesting ingredient.  Do you see it?

Brought them in for the office to eat now.  😦 Bastards at Hostess!



My daughter brought her puppy in for a visit this week.  He’s so smart.  She has taught him lots of tricks already.

I will be sad when we move offices next month and he is no longer able to visit.  What?  You say I didn’t tell you we were moving?  We ARE!  Much nicer offices. A little smaller, but a much better layout.  Better location, with 24 hour security.  Hopefully this is the last move for awhile.  I can’t believe we have been here three years.  That can’t be right, can it? 


Yeah, that’s right…I am this exciting.


 EDIT – YUP!  Three years. That’s the post where I said, I will never move offices again. 🙂

My idea for social protest

You know how there are always those chain emails saying that there should be a gas protest?  On blah blah day everyone should NOT buy any gas. That’ll show those gas suppliers our power?

It has occurred to me that we should have a NO HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP PURCHASING week.  While gas boycotts do not work because you still have to buy gas to drive, this might work because you would probably buy substitute products that do not have HFCS’s in them.  There would be a swing in the product makers bottom line.  And you never know, maybe you’ll like the other stuff better!


Don’t forget to check your yogurt!


This is the story of a girl

Xanga John is promoting a blog-a-thon this week.  Every day, Monday – Friday.

 EDIT! _ I had put the thoughts for this into a post and marked it private but forgot to update the time after I wrote it! That’s the confusion MB. Thanks for pointing it out!


Last week in midst of a whole bunch of other stuff going on in my life that I don’t want to talk about, a friend from the past popped up and asked if I wanted to meet for coffee.She was a good friend for a few years. We spent a lot of time together and I think we were pretty close. She is one of the few people that I’ve ever really opened up to and trusted. She is also the only person I know that Sean as a baby was ever comfortable with. She actually babysat him when Corey came to get Katy and I from the hospital and so got to be the first person to meet Katy out of the hospital. So we had a parting of the ways, way back when.  I’m pretty sure it was my fault. She had a very complicated life and lots of drama As I’m sure some of you are aware, I do not do drama.  Period.I grew up with it and just never learned how to tolerate it as an adult. I think one day I was particularly tired, please remember I had two very small children, was very poor, and was working full time, and I said something mean about her and her drama. At least, that’s all I remember. And that was the end of that.

A few years ago (um….12?) we met for coffee. I was at a particularly vulnerable place in my life and going through some bad times.  I really don’t remember how we ended up talking. I can’t imagine I called, but it’s possible. Maybe the timing was just coincidental? So a few days later I tell my husband I went out for coffee with her. He said something to warn me away from her.  It was really odd.  He said that she wasn’t what she seemed. I thought he was just being Corey, until he started telling me all of these things that over the years I had told her. That she had then told him.Things that I had said in laughter she recounted in a while different context to him. So, lesson learned. Walked away.

A few months ago she showed up on my Facebook. I accepted, and it was fine.I heard bits and pieces of her life and it was all calm. Last week she asked if I want to meet up for drinks. It was early in the week before everything went to hell, so I thought about it for a day and said sure. Let’s meet for lunch. We tried to schedule it and I suggested a few days, and then she picked one. That night I realized that someone else in my house had scheduled doctors appointments on that day and so would need my car. No matter how much technology I have at my disposal I can not make the calendar on my fridge sync with my Google Calendar, or my Outlook.

I apologized and asked if we could reschedule and I got back a flip and what I took as a harsh response. Now, truly I probably misinterpreted the answer, she shares my sarcasm so it may have just been that, but I think I am too old and too tired to have to worry about it. I know this has gotten very long, and I’m sure it’s very boring but my entire point is that this is really the story of me. I think I must actually gravitate towards people who will break my trust I’ve had all of my close friends over the years do something that caused me pain and made me feel used or belittled. Well, maybe not all, but very very close to it. Each time, it was a shock.  I have so many walls now.

I wish instead of starting my blogging on Xanga so many years ago I had started it someplace local in tandem with Xanga. I think over a few years time I would have built friendships as nice,with local people as I have with some of you so far away.


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