eh, why not me?

I don’t think I’ve ever been one of those people who said “why me?” when something bad happens. I think when something bad happens to me it’s not for a reason, or a grand design, it just is. Why does that piece of dog fur fly through the air and land on my sandwich? Well, because a room away someone walked past the closed door and caused a miniscule shift in the air that meandered it’s way into this room and was the perfect weight and balance to lift one of the gazillion dog hairs in my house and have it land on my food. It’s not a karmic message about my sandwich or my eating. So when they told me Friday morning that cancer cells had been found in my lymph nodes I don’t think I ever thought why me? I’m not saying I like it.  I’m not all, YAY!  Chemo! Woohoo! Radiation! but I do think a part of me thinks, “Why not me?”  

It’s not the best news, but it’s certainly not the worst. They found cancer cells in two of the nine lymph nodes they removed. One from the left, one from the right. The results are still preliminary but so far that’s all they found.  Cancer cells confirmed on the cervix and two lymph nodes. Once my body is healed from the surgery I will begin a round of radiation & chemo. I know, no one wanted to hear that, but there you go. That should last about six weeks.  So, say we start in four weeks, then six weeks of treatment.  Round it up and we’ll just say three months. Three months from now I hopefully will start a lifetime of routine maintenance. Just scans and check ups to make sure there is no re-occurrence.

So, the cancer blogging goes on.


Comments on: "eh, why not me?" (0)

  1. I know that your positive attitude will be as healthful as all the medical treatment you receive. *hugs* I’m glad to be getting to know you.

  2. My first explitives of disgust cannot be typed here because it surely would offend someone.  But *^& &^%$#/.  I love you for your positive and take it in your stride/get on with it mentality!!..

  3. Nina swore – I cried.  I know you are going to be ok.  Honest to god – I know that but I just want you to be ok now and not to have to go through all this crap.  I marvel at your level headed approach to all this.  Love and hugs and healing vibes coming your way.

  4. Ya know I think you will heal up just fine cause when I pray I get a great feeling that you are ok

  5. “Why not me?”  I never thought of things that way.  Kind of puts things in a different perspective, to be sure.  You are one of the strongest women I know.  Sending you continued positive thoughts and best wishes. 

  6. Ahhhh…I thinks that just sucks but I love your attitude.  Things here have been horrible as of late and they I kept thinking, “What would be do without this great health care?  What do people do?”  And feel pretty lucky we have the care we have….My heart is with you tho sister and if you send me you address, which I INSIST you do….I will knit or crochet you any hat or style you like in any color, to keep your head warm :).xoxo, Betsy

  7. Oh sh*t.  I just caught up with reading.  Tracy, I’m sorry.  You do have a fabulous attitude – and you’e right – why not me?  My heart is with you and you’re in my daily “Hi God it’s me again” conversations at dawn when I walk the dogs at the big pier by the ocean.  I hope some of that morning new – here’s a nother day to get this right and make it all okay again – comes your way.  I know – that probably sounds ridiculous…but whatever.    So – take excellent care and know you’re loved by so many.  xxoo

  8. Was just thinking about you this morning and shooting a note to you  later.All I could say was “Oh $h*t ! That being said… you are in better shape than I was (am) and I got through 6 rds of chemo and 33 rds of rads. (3.5 mos chemo, + 6.5 wks rads.)  All I can say for the chemo as DRINK LOTS AND LOTS OF FLUIDS!  At least a quart a day.Yell out if you need anything!  I’m usually only 5-20  mins. away. 

  9. @Mom_with_a_Chainsaw – say…it just occurred to me that I was perfectly healthy until I started talking to you…I guess you came along at the perfect time to offer me some raucous bawdy fun. 🙂

  10. @Ninasusan – @skanickadee –  you two have to share a reply because it’s the same. I adore you.

  11. @SisterMae – Thank you very much!

  12. @Emme402 – And I will gladly take them.

  13. @Muzwah – I think about that too. I think how much worse it could really be for me if I didn’t have the resources, family, friends and job that I have. Do you really think for one minute that I would say no? I have seen the beautiful things you do! I look best in jewel tones. Amethyst, Emerald, Dark Ambers. 🙂

  14. @Kissedbyadog – You never sound ridiculous. You sound sincere and kind. Thank you.

  15. @ic1950 – Thanks !  My next big research project will be what to do to survive chemo. I will start with liquid, lots and lots of liquid!

  16. @tracy – The other thing is, when your body says “rest” – Do it!  Those little cat naps do wonders.

  17. you have a wonderful attitude.  I like that.  I like you.(hug)

  18. Well, that is sucky news.  But we’ll be here for you for the next three months and then some.My boss’ daughter has just been diagnosed as well.  She’s not taking it quite so matter of factly.  Her dad is though.  I’ll have them read your posts.

  19. @to_be_creative  – Thanks. I hope she finds a good center of balance in herself. Maybe she isn’t as lucky as I am in the support department.

  20. That just sux!  I did not expect to see this.  You take such good care of yourself.  Just goes to show that it can happen to anyone at anytime.  So good to see you so positive.  That will take you right through this.  Hugs!

  21. @GrannyHappyNanny – Thanks!  I’m doing my best. 

  22. I think I’ve said it before, but if you need absolutely anything at all, let me know.-Brad

  23. @Koriar – Thanks Brad.  If times get desperate I may need to borrow your beard hat. 

  24. @Koriar – Suddenly I’m thinking of a blog of hat styles!  With your picture as the center piece.  I will mull this over.

  25. @tracy – You will have the most luxurious beard of any woman in Toledo.

  26. @tracy – You know we feel the same way about you! 

  27. I work in a industrial scale service company, and I schedule all the PMPs.  Preventitive Maintentence Programs.  Now I have to schedule my own pmps every 6 months, ultrasounds and xrays.  Keeping a close eye on my insides.  Wish there were a way to see inside…  You’ll have your pmps too.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud


A new Iteration

Dog Hair In My Coffee

Just me: daughter, sister, mother, wife, the dream


Happiness gently landed on my shoulders

One Life, One Chance

Learning to be Resilient

Salty Antlers

Handyman Services, Custom Gifts

Daniel R. Simpson, MPA

Educator, Photographer, Cancer Warrior

It's me - mb!

musings from the mind of mb

The Journey from Big Girl to Fit N HEalthy

It Doesn't Matter How Many Times You Fall As Long As You Always Stand Back Up One More Time

Get With It For Life

Health & Fitness that Fits your Life - for Life


Blogging like it's the old days.

Musings of a Quirky Introvert

ideas ... observations ... reflections


I'm on a path. It meanders.

The Enchanted Cottage

Binaural beats therapy

Brainwaves entrainment for Android

A Sagittarian Seeker

Sharing a life of inner and outer journeys

Victor Travel Blog

An Illustrated Travel Magazine by Victor Tribunsky.


pairing wine with pizza and then meowing about it.

Bridgette Tales

Everybody has a story. Here's a little of mine.

Letters from Lyndie

Bets and Pieces

Solving Life's Puzzles, One Word at a Time

Start Skydiving



Onward and upward

cancer killing recipe

Just another site

%d bloggers like this: