getting ready….

I have been withholding things from you my little computer. I promised myself when I started this cancer “thing” that I would be honest but I have taken a month off. A month to try and not think too much. I’ve been mostly successful but now it’s time to start focusing again. I need to arm myself. To be ready. We’ve been pretty not-talking here at home but the other day my husband broke the surface tension and we talked about next week. We’re both preparing ourselves for the worst. 

My oncologist was so optimistic last time, before surgery he said it was probably just cervical cancer, nothing to it. After the surgery he said well it was a little more and there was a tumor but I’m sure I got it all, nothing to it. When we went in at four weeks to hear the results of the biopsies my husband was totally shocked. He didn’t expect to hear how bad it was and he certainly never thought there would be chemo & radiation. So now it’s like the old saying. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. So he’s getting prepared to hear the worst come Monday. Well, that’s some of the problem. He leaves Sunday morning for a month. I will go to the Doctor on Monday and hear whatever I hear. He said, just don’t start treatment before I get home.

Horrible to be in this position. Horrible to have to think about these things But there you are, now you know.  We’re thinking.

I hope on Monday you’ll hear the best, but I’m prepared to tell you the worst.


Comments on: "getting ready…." (0)

  1. Getting ready is very important. I will be with you in spirit as I know the rest of you family will be too. It has to be hard for both of you with him being gone. My prayers are with you both. Luck and love headed your way.

  2. Sending you all the best wishes and keeping you in my prayers. 

  3. Sending positive thoughts your way and will be thinking of you guys on Monday.

  4. I am really sorry he can’t be with you that day.  I know that must be so upsetting for him that he can’t be there with you.  I hope you are planning on taking someone with you.  You will be in my thoughts.  I think it wise to prepare yourself. I still will hope for the best.Sending my love.

  5. only the best!!

  6. Hoping you get good news…

  7. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Tracy.  Kathi

  8. Sending you my best wishes, my fingers are crossed and I’d pray if I believed so really I’m just throwing out some words to the universe and hope they come back to you!

  9. So day one begins and I am drinking my tame and tart coffee! Good luck and positive energy coming your way.

  10. hoping you’re celebrating by the end of the day…

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