http://www.isanybodyhere.com

Every day I rub ointment on my new tattoo. I keep it moist to help it heal well. I wait for the day that I run my hand across and it is smooth. Each day I see a little bit more of pink of my skin fade away and the true color that was applied come through and I love it.

I am not usually one for introspection but I have been wondering lately what made me want to get this tattoo. This is my third. I have one on the back of my left shoulder, one on the inside of my left ankle and now this one on my left forearm. I don’t know why they all need to be on the left, but they did.

The difference between the first two and this one is hide-ability. My other two are not seen unless I choose to wear clothing to show them. This one is more in your face. it’s 3×3 and just below the crook of my arm.  No one who I spend a lot of time with has tattoo’s or appreciates mine. This is not one of those things where we all sit around and show each other our ink. It’s just me.  I decided on this tattoo after my cancer treatment. Those last two sentences are really the explanation for this tattoo and it’s visibility.

It’s mine. It can never be moved to a new location, or given away because someone else needs it. It’s mine and it’s me. It suits my way of looking at things. It is not about anyone else. It is a purely selfish possession.  That’s the reason for the tattoo. 

The reason for it’s location is because I no longer care what anyone else thinks. I do not need to hide. I have given every piece of myself up for examinations and poking and picture taking (yes they do take pictures, horrible pictures of you during your treatments that you just try to pretend they’re not taking) and cutting and burning and conversations about like I’m not in the room. I have scars that you can’t see, some of them hurt a lot. I have scars that you can see, and I am proud of them. This is a scar I give myself. It’s one more visible thing that shows you who I am. The scar on my abdomen shows you that I no longer have a whole bunch of pieces of me. The scar on my chest shows you that I had chemo. This scar shows you that I still have faith, and that I still have hope. That I believe that I am lucky, and that I believe that I am filled with love and that I am loved.

Here is why middle aged women should not get tattoos.  One, because it’s mine. Two because it’s so empowering that once you have one, you will want another, and maybe another, and another! Once you find out that you are strong enough to do what you want regardless of the potential disapproval you just may find that you can do other things. Next thing you know you’ll be wearing inappropriate clothing, and getting your hair dyed in never in nature colors. You may get a piercing in an unexpected place, or decide you were meant to be a vegan and suddenly stop eating animal products. You may quit your job and start doing things you love and just hope you find a way to make money at it. You may suddenly walk up to people you’ve known for years and unexpectedly hug them, just to let them know you are really there.

So now you know the risks, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

 

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Comments on: "Why I don’t think Middle Aged Women should get Tattoos." (0)

  1. Love this post I only have one and it is just over my heart it is linked hearts and it matches my best guy friends he is 10 years younger than I and I have know him since he was a few days old that was the first time I held him in my arms he is sort of like the brother I never had I was 40 when I got mine.Like I have said dear friend you are my hero I want to be as strong and sure as you are you amaze me

  2. Beautifully written and very moving.

  3. Hi Tracy, Good for you. It is a big step to finally be who you want to be and don’t care what others think.  I have surgical scars, but not tattoos.I desire Hawaii. That is it. I won’t live there because I am practical. I wish I was more like you.frank

  4. Holy crap…this is the my first xanga read in a couple of weeks.  It hit me right between the eyes…I hope you don’t mind if I share it…amazing thoughts…just amazing…In a few weeks, I think we ought to sit down as middle age women and share our ink!!!  I”m so looking forward to it.  Great post, Tracy…one of your best!

  5. Don”t have any tats and am to afraid of the needle to get one.

  6. I wish I was a vegan.. 

  7. very moving and inspiring 🙂 It’s great that you can express yourself in this way without worrying about what others think of you.

  8. you should get more, and wear inappropriate clothing, and everything else.  cause you’re you, and you’re an attractive gal.@z_stands_for – hey, Deeaahhna.

  9. Woo!  I got tattoos for the same basic reasons (in addition to wanting something on my body my ex-husband hasn’t seen.).  I had skin cancer removed from my face, right above my right eye.  I have a giant scar there, I think it’s terribly ugly.  My tattoos are something I put there myself, with full consent!  They are scars I’ve chosen and they are a lot better looking than my cancer scar!  I have three, it’s true… I want more!

  10. Awesome & inspiring

  11. Great post. 

  12. @TiredSoVeryTired – I love that you said “something your ex-husband hasn’t seen” I don’t have an ex-husband but if I did, I would do it for that reason too! I bet the scar over your eye isn’t ugly at all. Your profile pic is small, but you look like a beautiful woman. 

  13. @SisterMae – You give the BEST compliments!

  14. @ColdSkivvies – thank you my elusive xanga’er.

  15. @ANVRSADDAY – Frank, I have seen you around Xanga for a very long time. I feel quite honored that you read my post and commented. 🙂 I have never been to Hawaii. I imagine I would want to live there too.

  16. @z_stands_for – Your comment made me laugh. I am not a Vegan, but I did go to vegetarian a few years ago. I’ve never heard anyone wish they were a vegan. If that’s what you want, why wouldn’t you just do it?

  17. @xdeelynnx – Thank you!

  18. @plantinthewindow – Every time I buy a piece of clothing it gets closer and closer to inappropriate. I just said yesterday that at some point I am going to have to stop dressing like a 17 year old. But since I just started recently, maybe not too soon. Thanks.

  19. @debbykp – đŸ™‚ Thanks chickie.

  20. @cdedodgethis – Thank you!

  21. @xdeelynnx – We share the same birthday, though 28 years apart. 🙂

  22. I keep seeing ladies with ankle tattoos, probably done when they were younger, where you can’t tell where the tattoo stops and the varicose veins begin. 

  23. So next time I see you will you have a nose ring? I am glad that you have the courage to express yourself. Too often we are held back by others’ opinions and social constraints. Mostly I am just overwhelmingly thrilled that you are here!

  24. You are on today’s featured blogs – <li class=”item item-5 item-odd”> Why I don’t think Middle Aged Women should get Tattoos. Every day I rub ointment on my new tattoo. I keep it moist to help it heal well. I wait for the day that I run…<li class=”itemsubmitter”>tracy<li class=”itemtimestamp”>4 hours ago<li class=”itemviews”>171 views<li class=”itemcomments”>22 comments

  25. @skanickadee – sorry the html is showing.

  26. Definitely wouldn’t want middle aged women finding themselves and feeling free But seriously, I loved this post. Very inspiring.

  27. @skanickadee – It’s allright, I like HTML, and I like you!  No….no piercings for me! Though I do love a nice diamond stud in the side of the nose. 🙂

  28. @firetyger – Thank you very much!

  29. @dingus6 – That is why my ankle tattoo is blue…

  30. @tracy – So is the nose stud (I don’t know is there a proper name for that?) new? I don’t remember that and I don’t remember hearing about you getting it?

  31. @skanickadee – No, sorry. I do not have one! Though I really like them.  Ms. Nina..however…

  32. @tracy – Oh, gee, I misread your comment and thought you had one. Take me back to reading comprehension 101. Yes, I think I remember Nina’s.

  33. I have two tattoos/one on each leg. One is a giraffe and the other is a Goddess. I have vampire bites on my neck.. they ended up looking like chili peppers.. ha! ..I gotta get those fixed.. I’m white with mexican from my moms side and chili peppers it not what I want assumably signifying me. And to answer your question.. Meat is still too good and I can’t bring myself to watch the videos of where it comes from. haha

  34. @z_stands_for – I like you!

  35. I don’t think that tattoos are all that daring anymore.  They’re pretty mainstream.  I look at them all day long in the operating room.  The hospital that I work at will not hire people with visible tattoos and facial piercings.  They just let a tech go because she wouldn’t cover a tattoo that she had on her neck.  She thought maybe she could bring a suit against the facility for discrimination, but in a “right to work” state, she has no case.  The attorney told her not to waste his time.  Now she has no job.  Employers don’t care about the story behind the tattoo.  When my niece lost all of her hair to chemo, she learned that hair is temporary.  She goes from auburn, to blonde, to brunette.  She has one tattoo to mark her 5 year anniversary of being cancer free.  Her children are her legacy, and she is a joyful and loving mom.  She told me that people who get their nose pierced should be from India, because the rest of the world looks silly with a pin in the nostril.That’s her opinion.  Her brothers and sisters have tattoos.  They all “mean” something or mark an event.  That’s their choice.  I have no tattoos because I mark events by chronicling them.  My ears are pierced once and that’s fine with me.  I don’t need to wear jewelry everywhere (and as a performer of Middle Eastern dance, it’s rare to find a dancer who doesn’t wear a ring in her navel or a pin in her nostril).  I wear noisy, jangly jewelry when I’m dancing, but normally I’m unadorned.  The tech who was fired told me that I would get a tattoo if I ever had a disastrous life event that I emerged from triumphant and strong.  I smiled at her and shook my head.  That’s how many people mark their triumph but I warned her not to assume that those who weren’t tattooed were those who lived an easy life.  In a four year span I dealt with a breast cancer scare, a renal cancer scare, an accident that left me partially paralyzed for 6 months, a terminal cancer diagnosis (and eventual death) of my mother, critical emergency surgery on my oldest child and the chronic medical condition left behind, a messy heartbreaking divorce, unemployment, diagnosis of a chronic and serious medical condition in my youngest child, the unexpected death of a dear uncle due to an accident. She stammered an apology, then asked why I had a “thing” against tattoos.  I shook my head, “I don’t.  Everything that happened in those 4 years was just life.  Death is part of life.  There are no guarantees that life will be good, easy, and happy.  If you want a tattoo to show the world that you triumphed over the challenges then that’s your choice.  If I choose to keep my triumphs private from the world, then it’s my choice.  Neither are wrong.  They’re just different.”   Inked or blank…neither are wrong.  They’re just different.

  36. @beesuze – Wow! Thank you for sharing your history. I agree with you, I think tattoos are pretty mainstream these days I at least five tattoo parlors within two miles of my house. I think that’s really interesting that the fired tech felt that way about disastrous circumstances and tattoos. I’ve never heard anyone say anything like that. Can you imagine if everytime something touched you negatively you got a tattoo? Most of us would be covered head to toe. Few people make it out unscathed.

  37. This is so inspiring. I started young with my tattoos (18), now I’m 30 with 10 (a few more planned) for me it’s the artwork to my own personal novel. 🙂 I loved the way you described it though! 🙂

  38. I’m not middle aged, yet,  but my tattoos give me a huge sense of empowerment.  I have a large tattoo on my left side that hurt so bad I cried through nearly the entire thing…..The tattoo is of lotus flowers, which represent overcoming obstacles.  I got that tattoo as my own reminder of everything that I have been through….and that so many beautiful things came out of all those dark days.  All 3 of my tattoos are just as much a part of me as any other part of my body.  I can’t imagine not having them.  This was a great post 🙂

  39. @TheGreatBattle – Thank you so much. I like the idea of it being a novel. 🙂

  40. @wretched_epiphany – Thank you. I did not know that about the lotus flower. I practice yoga so I see the Lotus flower all the time, but now I will look at it a little differently. Something about the pain makes it more of a commitment to me. I wish I had said that about my tattoo’s being as much a part of me as other parts of my body!  That’s exactly right. They don’t sit on the skin, they are IN you. It’s different. 

  41. @tracy – The meaning of the lotus flower came from the way the flower grows. The blossoms rise above the water, and we rise above our struggles in life. I thought it was really cool, and since I’m living in Vietnam I wanted to get something related to Asian culture.

  42. @wretched_epiphany – that is quite cool. As is living in vietnam. I hope you post pictures of your life so i can live vicariously. When I am not on my ipod I will have to come back and browse to learn more about you.

  43. Having been through it myself I totally get why the tattoo is so important to you. Huge hugs youre an inspiration gal and a brave one at that xx

  44. Lovely post. I am just about to have my first tattoo – on my wrist. I have wanted one for years but didn’t for fear of what people – especially my parents – would think. But I’m 41 and have an adult daughter … so it’s time!

  45. @bluecat555 – How exciting for you!  It’s a big step to be able to accept peoples disapproval. I think I will subscribe so I can see a picture when you get it done!

  46. @tracy – Thanks! I have written a blog post about my decision but it’s not on Xanga ( never even heard of it till today!) – its at http://www.AlisonNeale.co.uk

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