It’s so easy to de- people. Sometimes it’s words, sometimes it’s actions.
Assign a task to someone at work in a public forum and follow it with, “Don’t worry, I’ve asked blahblah to be ready to help you when you don’t know how to do it.”
Implying that you recognize that they can’t possibly know how to complete the task while also implying that other people of course no more than them.


Many people do these things without conscious thought. It’s a habit just like rubbing their eyes or sniffing their coffee when they first pour it in their cup. I think for many people it comes from a need to prove themselves better by showing other people to be worse. It’s an unpleasant habit.
It’s also easy to do in your personal life. To show that you are stronger, or smarter or at the least in control. It’s especially easy to develop these patterns around people that you know well, because you learn their weaknesses.

I try to watch out for this behavior in myself. 

Comments on: "De-Lovely" (0)

  1.          I found myself making jokes about my husband…basically, Mike is a pretty boy…so I pick at him all in fun. Recently, I looked over at him after I made a joke and…he wasn’t laughing. I was shocked! I thought he knew I was joking. It bothered me. A LOT! I asked him later in private and would you believe after 7 years I realized this was a touchy subject for him because others would pick at him growing up. I will never do that again. But I didn’t learn something. If my focus had been on my husband and not on making others laugh, if I had looked at my husband all those other times and read his body language … I would have noticed it a lot earlier!

  2. Don’t get me wrong here I loved my Mother but I knew by what she said that my oldest sis was her favorite and at times it really hurt I was never as thin or as pretty or as smart.. well I had one of those IQ tests my SR year and my IQ was tested way higher than hers although even she was in the genius range I rubbed it in until I made her cry. It took her along time to forgive me…its crazy now I could care less about being snipish she is my best friend

  3. Yes, habits can be destructive.

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