A thought has come up a couple of times in the last few weeks. Usually if something pops into my consciousness multiple times I try to take note in case it’s my subconscious trying to give me a hint. On post secret someone posted this:
“I’m in my 60’s and have spent my entire life doing for or helping out everyone I possibly could. Just once it would have been nice to hear I’ve got your back on this one. Just once”
Here’s my little nugget of self knowledge on that sentiment. It’s very easy to use that as an excuse for why you’ve not chosen to help yourself. If you can tell yourself that you’re so busy and so good always helping others (perhaps even when they don’t want or need it) and that no one ever does the same for you then you needn’t be disappointed in yourself for not spending the time or effort to improve your own circumstances or attitude.
Another side of that is the feeling that no one will ever do the same for you or has ever stepped up to help you. You probably need to stop feeling so self righteous and trying to martyr yourself and perhaps a.) you will notice the people that actually are stepping up but not asking for gratitude or b.) people will feel more comfortable with you and will be far more likely to be your friends instead of the subjects of your “helpfulness”
When I found myself stuck in that trap of “why am I so much nicer than everyone around me” I took a good long look at myself. I was doing far too many things for the wrong reasons. I’m sure there is a parable/gospel/Buddhist saying about helping yourself first, and it’s true. You are a better person and better able to give people what they need when you have first made sure you are happy and grounded.
While driving to Ann Arbor Michigan yesterday I saw my first Sky Writer. It was fun to watch.
Yesterday a monarch butterfly discovered my hummingbird feeder. He was very large and very beautiful. At one point both the hummingbird and the butterfly were there! I am pretty sure I am never getting a picture of that.
Time is too scarce to waste even a minute being bitter and unhappy. Take responsibility for your own happiness.